I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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