why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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