Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
