i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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