i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
