I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
