I'm lost and stupid without you.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
