just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize