Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
