Buhtt sex?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
