I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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