i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
40s are totally the cure
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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