He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I have feelings that need drinking.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize