He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
