Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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