Got a toothbrush?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
