chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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