I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize