why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We're too hungover to prance.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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