You just made me feel so damn special
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
