Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
