I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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