This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
When did angry sex become our thing?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
