if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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