A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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