i barfeds in our rink
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
