your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
