I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
