Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
