Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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