Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
