We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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