you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I have fence marks all over my body
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
