i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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