need another drink. this is the easiest way
i was born a porn star she said
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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