69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
