just come out here and I will go home with you...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
