Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
