shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize