My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
