I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize