HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize