I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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