I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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