yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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