i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
