He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
