I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
