He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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