your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
