Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
