new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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