Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
