we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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