Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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