all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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