Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
