Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We have so much sex to catch up on
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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