the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
